Life Ain't Always What You Think It Ought To Be
by RinCat13
Summary: You might think you know Jasper Whitlock, but you don't. He had a family, and a story. Entry for Twilight Under Estimated Characters Story Contest.


**1860**

"Be safe Jasper. Please, promise me you will?" My eight year old sister asked as I pulled away from our hug. She looked up at me expectantly, with her big brown eyes full of tears threatening to spill, and blonde ringlets hanging down below her shoulders. A pink bow held her hair away from her face. I couldn't lie to her. That wouldn't be right. She was only eight.

"I'll do my best, Sarah. Help Olive with the housework, okay? Mind her and Thomas." I told her. She just wrapped her arms around me in a tight hug again. I heard small sobs. Sarah was really going to miss me. I had been a father figure ever since Father stopped being a good father to her. I pulled away and kissed the top of her head. Sarah had been a little ray of sunshine when Mother died. I moved to my fourteen year old sister Olive. "Take good care of Sarah and baby Rachel for me, okay Olive? I know you can do this. I trust and believe in you." She had clear blue eyes full of tears. A few started to make trails down her cheeks. Olive had been doing housework since she was three years old. She had taken Mother's place when she died and she had been very good in her position. Olive could make the best food in Texas, and was sure good at keeping a house.

"I promise Jasper." She hugged me and wiped her tears away. "I'm going to miss you so much Jasper. Please come home soon." I smiled sadly because alas, I could not promise anything. I was going off to war at seventeen years old, leaving my sisters and brothers to take care of the farm. Mother had recently died giving birth to baby Rachel, and Father was too overcome by grief to do much. He mainly just sat by the window or at her grave. He barely ate drank, or slept. Sarah was the best at coaxing him to eat, drink and sleep. That was probably because she reminded him of Mother.

"William, make sure that the horses and cattle are all taken care of, and mind Olive and Thomas." I told my youngest brother. William was ten. He was to be taken more serious than most took him. He was extremely good with animals, better with them than he was people, and he was more responsible than most ten year old boys I knew.

At the Whitlock ranch, we raised cotton, cattle, and good colts. We were a respected family, and we had an honor code. Whitlock children were strong and knew how to take care of the ranch by ourselves.

"'Kay," he looked at his boots. I knew it was because he didn't dare look at me, for fear he would start crying. But Whitlock men didn't cry, no matter how bad the situation was.

"Thomas, see to the cotton. If you have any problems, don't hesitate to go to John for help." Thomas was fifteen years old, and strong as an ox. John was twenty and the only man on his farm. He was our oldest brother, and had gotten married. He was the one who had encouraged me to join the Texas army.

"Olive, if you run into any trouble, Anne would be happy to help." I reminded her. Anne was John's wife.

"I know." She said softly. She sniffed loudly.

"Elizabeth Ann, I will do my best to come home to you. I promise." I told my fiancée softly. She looked up with tears in her eyes and nodded. I loved her. She was more beautiful than the sun. I hugged her and gently kissed her on the mouth. "I love you."

"I love you too Jasper. Please, do whatever it takes to come home alive and unhurt." She pleaded. I nodded once before I tossed my knapsack over my shoulder and walked away, never looking back once; for fear that they would see the single tear running down my cheek. I wiped it away, not wanting to cry over leaving. I would come back soon, after we confederates won the war.

**1863**

I was a major in the Confederate army. I had written home as much as possible. They were all proud of me. I hadn't visited home once. I did feel a little guilty. I knew that Olive had probably grown into a lovely young woman. She was sixteen. Thomas was seventeen and still taking care of the farm. Sarah had probably grown, since she was ten. William was twelve. Rachel was two. I didn't even know what exactly she looked like. I did feel sad about that.

Elizabeth Ann had written to me every day, telling me how much she loved me. I wrote back to her, telling her how much I loved and missed her. She was orphaned at the age of thirteen, so my siblings had given her a place at our farm for when I left to fight in the war. They loved her as a sister already. I was glad of that. She was eighteen and we were engaged. I loved her

In every letter I wrote, I told them to stay strong. Though inside, I wanted to be with them. My family. I was good in the army, but I missed those who cared most about me. I knew I had to fight in the war though. I had to protect my home and land.

I got up and crawled out of the tent. There was plenty of time after the war to be with my family. After we Confederates won the war, I would have all of the time in the world to be with them and truly tell them that I loved them.

**1948**

I looked at the graves of my siblings at the small cemetery on my family's land.

John Whitlock

1840-1907

Next to that was Anne's grave. They had loved each other so much.

Anne Whitlock

1841-1910

They had three whom I assumed to be miscarriage children buried near them. I felt bad for them. It was always sad when children didn't survive being born.

Thomas Whitlock

1845-1913

There was a woman by him who I didn't recognize. She must have been his wife. They had one child's grave by them.

William Whitlock

1850- 1920

William also had a woman by him whose name I didn't recognize. He had gotten married. They had only one child's grave by them, like Thomas and his wife.

Elizabeth Ann White

1845-1863

This caught my attention. My sweet and beautiful Elizabeth Ann had died the year I was changed into a vampire. She must have killed herself in her grief. I wished that I hadn't died. She was only eighteen when she died. A beautiful girl like her should have kept going, gotten married, and had children. Elizabeth should have moved on.

Sarah Whitlock

1852-1865

I could smell yellow fever. Don't ask me how, but I could. My sweet sister had died at thirteen years old because of yellow fever.

Rachel Whitlock

1861-1865

Rachel had died when she was only four. I knew it was yellow fever. Yellow fever had taken two of my sisters' lives. And in the same year too. Rachel hadn't really gotten a chance to live. I knew it was always sad when a young child died of an illness, but Rachel was my younger sister whom I hadn't really met yet. She and Sarah had most likely gotten sick at the same time.

I looked up to the sky. I was kneeling in front of all of their graves. My father's headstone said that he died in 1864. Probably of a broken heart. He truly loved my mother. The night sky was beautiful. I wished that I had been able to save my siblings and Elizabeth Ann from the grief they felt when they found out that I wasn't coming home. Then, I saw something.

Jasper Whitlock

1844-1863

They had given me a gravestone even though they had no proof that I was dead. They had probably needed closure.

I stood up and walked around the property. There was the house I had been born in. Where all of my siblings had been born. There was the barn where every born Whitlock had learned to ride a horse as soon as they could toddle. I hoped Rachel had learned to ride a horse. It would have kept the Whitlock family tradition going.

The house was empty. I walked inside. I strolled into my old room. The bed was made, and it was neat. My desk was just how I had left it. The books were stacked correctly, my papers in order. I walked into the room across from it. Elizabeth Anne's room. I found an old leather-bound book with yellowed pages on the desk. I opened it. It was her diary. I found the last page that had been written on.

_January 5th, 1863_

_Dearest Diary, _

_I feel as if my heart will break, I am so full of grief. My Jasper is not coming home. They found his dog tags on his horse, his possessions in his saddle bags, but not him. They then gave me a confederate flag. I accepted it, but I want Jasper. A flag will not make me smile when I'm sad, kiss me when it gets home, or say "I love you". That is what I have always envisioned Jasper would do for me when we were married. I am sorry if my tears smudge the words in here. I love Jasper so much, even in death. We cannot have the children I have seen in my dreams. We cannot grow old together. All I want is to see Jasper again. I want the forever that we could have had. I am so very sorry that it must be this way, but I have decided that to see my beloved Jasper again, I must die too. I do believe that I shall hang myself in the willow tree where we had our first kiss, and he proposed to me. I remember both nights like they were yesterday. _

_Goodbye Dearest Diary,_

_Elizabeth Ann White_

My hands shook with grief as I tucked the small book into my pocket. I would want it to read later. I scrounged up Sarah's diary and looked at the last yellowed page that had been written on.

_April 9, 1865_

_My Dear Diary,_

_Both Rachel and I are still ill. William brought a board for me to place you on, so that I can write. I am so bored. Rachel is usually asleep, and I cannot risk giving anybody else yellow fever by having them tell me a story. I know that I may be too old for stories- I am nearly fourteen- but I do find that stories pass the time better than sitting in bed, feeling miserable. I am not allowed my books, for I may get yellow fever on them and get someone else sick. I bet if Jasper were still alive, he'd tell me a story. Or Elizabeth Ann. She used to tell such lovely stories. Oh dear, I feel as if I will vomit again. I'm back and I did. It had blood in it. I wish that I would get better soon! I don't want to miss all of spring, because it is the best season there is. _

_I will write again soon,_

_Sarah_

I pocketed her diary too. If I was going to spend an eternity alone, I might as well know what went on in my sister's and lover's minds. I knew for a fact that Rachel couldn't have kept a diary, and Olive didn't have the time to.

I went outside and began to run. I was leaving the Whitlock property. I didn't look back.


End file.
